Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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