I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
