I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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