we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
