That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
