I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm too high and old for this...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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