Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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