The maid of honor just puked.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
