Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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