people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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