If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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