so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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