Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
