She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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