i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
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