totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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