bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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