she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
