Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
