im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
this boner is exhausting
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
