i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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