Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
