do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize