I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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