She said her name was "party"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
