clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
