dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
