im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
