you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
