its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
