I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize