five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
