Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize