and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
