I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I love having hate sex.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
