How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
