yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
