No, drunk sperm still make babies.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
