Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
