How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
