That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
