i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
