I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
