ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
