but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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