How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
