I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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