i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
