just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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