We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
