So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
