haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
and i looked up. we had an audience...
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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