Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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