He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
