Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
