I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
