At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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