Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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