C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
