I just saw a hot homeless man
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
