I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We left the knife in your bed.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
