would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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